SWAMPMASTER UNHOLY ALLIANCE BY JAKE SPENCER

Standard

Copyright 1992.

John Firecloud the leader of the resistance against the Neo-Nazis National Front are enjoying their recent victory. At night three men try to kill Firecloud a.k.a. Swampmaster. The three men are part of the Seminole tribe. Yet they are addicts to Livewire a drug manufactured in Cuba. The addicts were put up to betraying their people by a drug lord named Bootjack. Swampmaster and his people track the traitors to Bootjack’s hideout. What follows is a boring long chase. Automatic weapon fire is ineffective against a guy on a motorcycle so Swampmaster and his brother Coonan just decide to drive up next to the guy, drag him off the cycle and stick a knife in his throat. Bootjack gets away.

At Bootjack’s former hideout they discover an insidious alliance being formed. Bootjack the major drug dealer in Florida is uniting with Andonis Morfesis an organized kingpin from New York, The Cubans and the National Front. The NF will give these criminals free reign to sell their drugs in exchange for a cut and not to sell to NF personal. So the group finds out about the meeting at Disney World and with the help of a Free State Union operative they get an airplane and parachute in. Once there they find out all four groups were planning to double cross each other and a free for all ensues.

So this crime against literature ends with the third and final book in the “Mega-Mayhem Action Series.” Once again a convoluted plot involving various evil doers getting together and betraying each other. At Disney World no less. There seems to be something about Disney theme parks and post-apocalypse stories. There are several books that have either Disneyland or Disney World as major gathering points for the forces of evil. The story alternated between boring and batshit nuts. Everyone in it is just so over the top. We have Groll the head NF who continually drools ropey saliva out of his mouth. Apparently he has turned Disney into his personal playground naming the Castle after himself and putting his face on every character image including the princesses in the park. One character compared it to intruding on a mental patient in his padded cell playing with himself.

Then there is our main hero. A guy who wouldn’t ever be mistaken for a cigar store Indian because a cigar store Indian is less wooden and has more personality. He is always stoic and refuses to make light of anything. When he knifes a guy and his brother makes a humorous quip he replies, ” I don’t make light of the killing. It turns my stomach.” Geez come on. That’s a staple of the action genre to make pithy humorous statements after killing someone. Then there is the whole goofy crew including twin acrobatic dwarves and an obsessive compulsive.

This was one of the many attempts to start a new post-nuke series after the collapse of the Cold War. Many only lasted for a few books. I’m surprised this series lasted so long. It’s poorly written and has an absurd premise. I recommend for only hardcore case like me that love to read this stuff.

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