SWAMPMASTER HELL ON EARTH BY JAKE SPENCER

Standard

Copyright 1992.

Swampmaster after rescuing a scientist from the National Front, those Neo-Nazis that now rule Florida, decides to ambush a supply convoy. This is accomplished with ease except one of the guys Zeno the knife thrower gets wounded. Not to worry as Swampmaster after a minor tussle with the mutant White Trash gets him to treatment. They also deliver tons of uncontaminated food supplies to the regular people. Yet those evil NF under Commandant Groll and Lt. Varnum Slade continue to plan evil. They have established on an old oil rig out in the Gulf Project Life Harvest. They are conducting experiments on the White Trash to have them be mentally controlled by someone. This amuses Groll who can now control a fearsome giant that he names Jargal the Enforcer.

Well Swampmaster and his girlfriend are later captured while scouting this rig. So Groll now gets to have an exhibition where him controlling Jargal the Enforcer can fight Swampmaster in an arena. So anyway stuff happens. Swampmaster’s adopted white brother Bill Coonan was pretending to work for the NF and infiltrates the Marcus twins. They defeat Jargal and the NF while blowing up the oil rig.

So the crap train known as Swampmaster gets its second book in this exciting “Mega-Mayhem action series.” Once again it is just an atrocious piece of writing. So now Groll gets to drool all over the place with his salivatory gland disorder. We have another fun scene where he is playing a video game called Final Solution. He gets to play Dr. Joseph Mengele running a concentration camp. Of course his drooling wrecks the game and he takes it out on the scientist Yar Guderian. Because Guderian dared to point out he needs to use the keyboard protector or his drool will wreck the computer. So his punishment is to kneel in front of Groll and get his teeth kicked in. (Wow I hope the NF has a good dental plan. Sounds like you need it working for them.)

Then of course we get such quality writing as this passage from the mind of Varnum Slade as he observes a woman that turns him on.

Angela was in Slade’s estimate the paragon of femininity. A Nordic woman of substance. Her lushly fertile breasts would one day produce oceans of milk for an army of blue-eyed children. The lift and sway of her hard, thick legs and buttocks as she proceeded down the hall in her skintight warder’s uniform aroused his lust and made him want to let her dominate him entirely. Like the Valkyries of myth, she was transporting Slade to realms beyond.

Ah but it gets better in the chapter. As he confronts Saralyn the Swampmaster’s girlfriend she manages to bit off his middle finger.

Saralyn let her jaw slacken and Slade stumbled away, his right hand coming up covered in blood, his middle finger reduced to a shoot of naked white bone above the upper joint. Saralyn spat twice to expel the rest of it. His bloody fingernail ticked against the wall.

Yes this is the quality writing of the series. A mishmash of unlikable characters and rambling plot that alternates between boring and utterly ridiculous. This is just a rich reading experience.

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